DOMESTIC GODDESS

I related to Jessica Simpson burning chicken in the kitchen in the cinema of early 2000s reality shows        In what universe am I a baby person, I ask every femme I know        Because cishet white men keep falling in love with a story rather than the reality        When I go for men, I don’t go for ones who look like my father        Every day, I try to avert what my parents’ 14 year age gap has caused me        Actually, men go for me     Please get the story straight [not straight]        In my middle school years, on MTV, Nick Lachey bemoans that Jessica can’t boil water     Why can’t Nick boil the water       My father sits me down at our kitchen table in Vegas        Jessica has always been worth more than Nick        But I will not glorify white women       My father tells me that it’s time to take love seriously        Meaning find love with a man        Studies show that in cishet relationships, marriage benefits men more than women        I hate the episode of Newlyweds when Nick explodes at Jessica for buying expensive panties    Jessica has always been worth more than Nick        But I will not glorify white women        My father is proud to tell me that my mother couldn’t boil water when they met, and now she cooks five-star meals        My femme partner cooks the best meals        I eat my mother’s garlic lobster loudly     Her gai lan has the Goldilocks amount of oyster sauce       When my partner and I eat at a white woman’s house, we eat the most boring vegetables       Fact: it is easier to be vegetarian in Asia where so much is rooted in Buddhism        My mother was 14 when she met my father in my grandparents’ apartment in Kowloon        My femme partner and I were both 25 when we met each other     We spotted each other from across the room and bonded over Audrey Kawasaki     Hello Kitty     Eyelashes        Blackberry and Whiskey cocktails        Sugar Daddies        Bodysuits        Femme Things        How white girls kept interrupting our space and dates        Asian Femme Things       My mother was 25 when she was pregnant with me        Throughout my childhood, my father came home at exactly 5        We ate dinner every weeknight at        5        In what universe am I a baby person, I ask every femme I know        My mother always knew she wanted a child        Fact: my father is the only person my mother has ever been with        My mother is wise without much romantic experience        Fact: every man in my recent history has asked me to have his babies        Fact: this question pops up even before the 5^th date        More like a 2^nd date marriage        In middle school, I fought with a girl who deemed herself Domestic Goddess        She bragged about sewing pillows and leggings and once showed me a napkin arrangement trick        Fact: a man who tried to love me asked me to cook salmon on a plank with him        Fact: He asked me to have his babies on the 2^nd date        In what universe am I a baby person, I ask my femme partner        Fact: I love cooking with her        Fact: she cuts the fish into the most delicate pieces        Fact: our ancestors wouldn’t allow us to waste any part of the animal        In every universe, I am not a baby person        In every universe, I have more worth than any man         Of course he wants my babies.

Dorothy Chan (she/they) is the author of five poetry collections, including the forthcoming, Return of the Chinese Femme (Deep Vellum,  April 2024), BABE (Diode Editions, 2021), Revenge of the Asian Woman (Diode Editions, 2019), Attack of the Fifty-Foot Centerfold (Spork Press, 2018), and the chapbook Chinatown Sonnets (New Delta Review, 2017).  Chan is an Associate Professor of English at the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire and Co-Founder and Editor in Chief of Honey Literary Inc., a 501(c)(3) BIPOC-focused literary arts organization. Visit their website at dorothypoetry.com.